Allegations
Of Abuse?
Prevention &Survival
  
by Jodee Kulp and Judy Howell Wadsworth
workshops | writing | keynotes
Common feelings you will have if you face an allegation
Disbelief | Betrayal | Fear | Humiliation |
Confusion | Powerlessness | Anger
You will reach a DECISION POINT and
it is common to have this sequence
in getting back to acceptance of your life and calmness.
Disbelief - This is not happening
to us.
- Standard set of beliefs evaporate
into a new set of realities
- The door is open to a new experience
without understanding
- The new journey has no road map
- This just cannot be true
Betrayal - Who, what and why?
- Concerned and /or mistaken
individuals vs. Allegators
- Misinterpretation or
misrepresentation
- What is this about?
- Who made the allegation?
Fear - The Frightening Unknown
- The unknown is frightening
- Thinking the worst
- What is the worst that could happen
- How is this handled
- What is the next step
- Will our life ever be the same again
Powerlessness - Gasping for
control
- Feelings of impotence, anxiety and
uncertainty
- Reactions from social services are
unpredictable
- Decisions about your life are made
without your input
- Judgment
Humiliation - Long lasting
effects
- Inadequacy, shame, loss of
self-respect, loss of self-esteem
- Compounded by isolation
- Public and press may be
making own interpretations causing long lasting issues
Confusion - Million Questions, No
Answers
- Why?
- What do we do now?
- Who do we talk to?
- Where do we get answers?
- Who made the allegation?
- What happens next?
- Help? Who? Where? When?
Anger - A Normal Response
- Is universal
- Is an appropriate emotion
- Does not exist in an emotional vacuum
- Is expressed in m-any ways and for
many purposes
- Responses can be altered
ANGER is one letter short of
DANGER Be Cautious
|
REACT
A movement back
to a former or
less advanced
condition |
RESPOND
Something said
or done
in answer,
a reply.
|
Internal
Keep it in
Avoidance
Silence
Defensive
Anger is bad
Fear is OK
Depression
Suicide
|
External
Let it out
Conflict
Outbursts
Offensive
Fear is bad
Anger is OK
Violence
Homicide
|
Choose To
Do Something
Acknowledge Reality
Logically Assess Situation
Determine Further Action
Feelings are feelings
What you do matters
Long-term beneficial action
Resolution
|
Life Is Unfair!
Say it!
It's OK! Say
it Again.
Bad Things Do Happen to Good People!
No matter how bad your heart
is broken
the world doesn't
stop for your grief.
Workshops available for Agencies and Associations
Foster Families, Adoptive Parents and Kinship Caregivers
Brief
program overview
This site is provided complements of Better
Endings New Beginnings.
It is not intended to convey legal, educational, medical or professional advice.
We recommend you find your own local professional who can work with you.
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