Needs of Families

• HONEST   OPEN     REAL   SHARP    VULNERABLE
  ACCESSIBLE    MORAL

  They need HORSVAM support

HELP THEM LEARN DONT MAKE THEM SQUIRM
BE POSITIVE NOT PUNITIVE!

  SET System of Support

During crisis communication may be hindered by three major feeling states:

• Terrifying aloneness

• Feelings of being misunderstood

• Overwhelming helplessness

This results in rage, impulsiveness, threats of self-harm, suicide, unreasonable demands.

S.E.T.  SUPPORT

SUPPORT
EMPATHY
TRUTH

SUPPORT -- PERSONAL STATEMENT OF CONCERN

• I statements: 

• I am sincerely worried about how your are feeling.

• I have noticed speakers own feelings, personal pledge to try to help.

• Do "I" understand right...is this ....what you are saying.

EMPATHY   --   
ACKNOWLEDGE CHAOTIC FEELINGS WITH YOU STATEMENTS.

• How awful YOU must be feeling  YOU must feel . . .

• DO NOT SAY: I feel sorry for you or I understand how you feel.

TRUTH --  MUST BE USED.

• Reality emphasizes that the Borderline is responsible for their own life and recognizes that a problem exists.

• Address what can be done to solve it. Avoid blaming or punishing.

• Truth statements may include how it makes you feel.

• Well what do you think you can do about it.

• Heres what happened

• These are the consequences

• This is what I can do

• What are you going to do...